The semester is drawing to a close and sooo much has happened in such a short time. I can't believe how quickly time flies when you're in vet school. Staying busy has helped me immensely. When life gets hard, I desperately need an outlet into which I can direct my frustrations. School, work, CrossFit. Those are the venues through which I can escape.
I know it's been quite a while since I last posted (but you don't care, because I seriously doubt this gets read by anyone other than me, but it's helpful for me at times). I could bore you with the minutia of boy drama (they come, they flirt, they stay until they realize my standards don't budge, then they're gone. Seen it time and time again. When it's right, it won't be so frustrating. I find peace in that), the frustrations of daily battles at work, or the stress of the curriculum as a 2nd year vet student, but I won't. You see, the way I look at life is this: to each person, whatever they're facing is the biggest mountain imaginable. It may be a debt that just seems impossible to overcome, or a boy who broke their heart that they can't seem to move on from, or it may be just picking up a barbell. It may be that their home is no longer their home, and nothing even resembles the life they once knew. It could be a fatal illness, or the frustrations of parents not understanding their children as they grow older and evolve. Regardless, each person's mountain is huge to them, even if it's minuscule to you. So, don't judge them. Don't chastise them. Don't envy them. Pray for them and help however you can. This I have learned.
Over the past few months...well, the last year, really...I have learned that God has His hand on my life. I have made decisions that fulfilled my own selfish will, and even convinced myself at times that it was God's will, when I knew in my spirit that I was only satisfying my flesh and I was actually grieving my Savior's heart. If something doesn't work out, don't force it. God has saved me from such immense heartache and I can't even begin to express to you how grateful I am for that. It's funny how, when you're in the middle of a heartbreak, it seems like the most miserable thing in the world, and everything reminds you of it. But, when you take a step back and realize God snatched you out of the situation in the nick of time before you were hurt far worse, suddenly life begins to brighten right up. The heartache I was going through was a direct result of me ignoring God's still, small, stern, loving voice warning me of danger. I ignored it, and I got burned. I just wish that lesson would stick. I pray it does so that I don't have to go through that, again.
Sometimes I am so super quiet, and then some days I can't shut up and I wish I could control my tongue. It's almost like I can stand back and watch me make an utter fool of myself, but I'm helpless to stop it. Tragic. I just pray that, someday, my future husband will find all of my horrible imperfections simply intriguing and irresistible :-)
This summer I will be traveling to different amazing vet hospitals to work with some elite surgeons all across the country. I am so very blessed and excited to get away from this town with all of its memories. I will miss my church family, classmates, and especially my CF friends. I pray God uses me for His glory over the summer and I will focus on His plan, and leave the frustrations of this town behind me. I am in the middle of a brand new start and I am so ready to shake the dust from my feet and run!
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