Questions Unanswered

Some things I don't understand.  Blogging is one of them.  I used to have a blog when I was an undergraduate student, but it felt like an outlet for complaining.  Many people have them for the catharsis, and I certainly need that.  I guess I always felt that blogging just broadcasted your thoughts that probably shouldn't be read by many people.  Sometimes, though, those thoughts help others cope with similar struggles, triumphs, decisions, and other life stages.  For this reason, I am not as adamantly against it as I have been in the past.  

As an introverted person, expressing myself can be very difficult at times.  I am not like many girls I know (values, standards, age, etc.  You'll learn more as you read) and that makes it difficult to let people close to me.  I find it very challenging to be around strangers at times, because I know, at some point, they'll realize I'm not like them, and there will be rejection by some.  I am utterly astounded when people can "fit in" in groups, whereas I have always struggled.  I envy that, to an extent.  I wonder if there really is a "normal" out there...

Lately, my heart has been hurting.  There are so many reasons why that it's difficult to place the blame on the most debilitating factor, but I think I need to find it.  How do you fix something that you can't change?  How do you change some one that won't? (you can't)  How do you let go (of someone, or a family member, of a parent, of something you can't control...)?  How do you become a wife and mother and an amazing, gifted veterinarian?  How?  How do you maintain humilty, yet stand up for your worth?  How do you balance God's will and your desires?  I am in a tug of war and I am losing.  Today.  Not forever.  I am His creation and His precious daughter.  I am a Princess in His kingdom.  This is all I know today and to this I will cling.  More to come...